For the last 4 months I have been eagerly telling everyone about our move to Tucson to plant a church. It flowed out of my mouth without hesitation. I did not expect what would happen when someone from Tucson asked me why we moved here.
The question came within the first day of our move. "What brought you to Tucson?" I found myself at a loss for words....I wanted to tell them all about Jesus, God's provision in bringing us to Tucson and wanted to tell them about our plans to plant a church, but I was hesitant....Why was I hesitant after all this time of being bold and ready to answer to anyone that asked? My answer to the first person was lengthy about how we came to Tucson 5 years ago on a vacation, fell in love with the area and knew we would come back here someday, and that this year we had decided to move here to start a church. It was a true answer, but it bothered me that I wasn't more confident and bold in my response. That I didn't share more about how God lead us to Tucson and how we are here to be used by God in Tucson. As I have thought about this, I think I had fear of coming off too strong or being seen as a fool as an outsider who is coming to start a church.
After a few days here, I scripted myself an answer so that I wouldn't be so hesitant or long worded. I started telling people "My husband is a pastor of a new church in Tucson." Short and simple....probably too short and simple. After saying this to a few people and talking more with Luke about this unexpected hesitation I was having, I began to hear Jesus loud and clear through Luke, different scriptures I was reading and through the sermon at Second Mile this last Sunday.
I have been reading 1 Corinthians. God is speaking to me that it is very possible I will be seen as a fool, but that it is my calling to plant the message of Jesus' in the hearts of the people that I am meeting here in Tucson. When I speak to others now, I am praying that God will give me the words to say that will speak to them. I don't need a scripted answer to seek the approval of men, but I need to allow God to speak through me however he will. (Read 1 Corinthians chapters 1-3 to be challenged yourself!)
During the gathering at Second Mile this last Sunday, we were challenged to share our faith. This idea that we need to bring Jesus into the beginning of our conversations with people, because we set the pace for our conversations in the beginning of a relationship. What a challenge for me as I am starting so many new relationships which means I have so many opportunities to start with Jesus!
I am very thankful for the last 2 weeks and facing this unexpected hesitation. It is helping me to really search for the answers to who I am, what I am called to be or do, and what I am here to say. Right now I am just praying that I will have opportunities and when facing those opportunities I will be bold and trust Jesus for the words I need. I have a story to tell and I do not need to be afraid to tell it.
It is just like Jesus, to take us out of our comfort zones and put us in new situations that will challenge us and for that I am truly grateful!
"For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power." 1 Corinthians 2:2-5 NIV
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